November 11, 2010: A Different Kind of Remembrance

So I've been thinking about a lot of things and those things involve my love life with him. He is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. I enjoy spending time with him and just being with him in general because I believe he's my type of guy. And I just think to myself that as each day goes on, I hope that he would ask me to be his girlfriend, but sadly he never does. We've been dating since June and the months we've been dating have been so memorable and worth my life. But lately, I've been thinking of letting me and him just stay friends even though the months that we've been dating, I've fallen in love with him. It hurts me deep to even think about staying in the friends zone with him because I love him so much. I think to myself "things are gonna change for the better", but in the end, nothing happens. When I look at him, with his beautiful brown eyes, I could never think of a better place to be at. When he wraps me in his embrace, I just want to stay in his arms forever just because it feels so right to be in his arms. As the days go on, I hate myself for being selfish of him. I push myself to stay with him even though we may never be officially together. I honestly love him too much to let him go. I never know what to do when I think thoughts like that. The other day I had just told him I loved him so much, and he told me he didn't know what to say to that. I just let it slip and told him I didn't care if he didn't feel the same way as me. I just cared that I was still with him. I will technically call him my first real love since he is the first guy I've ever said "I love you" to.

A Start of Something New

So I had an interesting day today or more like an interesting week actually. I'd explain my week, but it's too much to say in this blog. lol. But anyways, today was basically Ellen presenting her speech and you know what? I'm so proud of her since she did so much better than her last speech. It was really interesting to learn about someone who was called a "Blood Countess". This "Blood Countess" was a woman who murdered over 600 little girls and then bathed in their blood afterwards. Then after she was done with their bodies, she would cut them up and bury their bodies in places such as the forest. Then as the years went by, she started to threaten priests who didn't help her hide the bodies she had killed. If they didn't do what she said, she would blackmail them. I found it to be quite interesting. And then just not too long ago, Ellen tells me that she had made another accomplishment. It was something she had wanted to do for a while now. She had just added James, a cute guy from our speech class, on facebook. I must say...I'm looking forward to seeing what might happen by the end of this week since so much has already happened this week for me. Also last week was great for me and that was because last week there was no midterms! XD Unfortunately, this week is midterms week, but I only have 2 midterms to worry about. (Thank God!) I'm hoping that next week will be even better since it is the week that Halloween is. I'm being a sailor girl this year. Looking forward to seeing what will happen on Halloween night...until then, I'll be writing next week to update. Maybe my life will be more interesting as the weeks go on.
<3 Alyssa